What the Blog is going on???

2002-09-19T13:36:00.000-07:00

Well folks. The days of Whttheblog are over. I have sucessfully created a new page in my likeness. It is a great page, far more creative, craftyer and way neater than this one. Its kinda sad actually. Laeving all these magnificant posts. All the memories.

Ahh well. Out with the old, in with the new. Good bye whattheblog.blogspot.com, Hello rachelk.blogspot.com Everyone head over there from now on. See ya on the flip side!!!!!

2002-09-19T11:16:00.000-07:00

I think I will try to get a new page, I really hope it doesn't mess up this one. Because if I mess up the new one then I won't have this one either. We'll see. If i get one and it works I will post my new page adress on this page, and if this page messes up then I'll get Nicole to post it on her page. minicool.blogspot.com

Think i can do it??

2002-09-17T11:31:00.000-07:00

My Bad, i forgot to mention, We're planning a roadtrip to Moncton on Sat, so anyone who is intereested in coming get ahold of Nicole or Rachel L or I and we'll hook ya up!!!!

2002-09-17T11:05:00.000-07:00

hahahaha, I LOVE you people!!! i love you all. Thank you for reading my pitiful little page and making me feel special and significant!!! I love you all and enjoy your comments!

Wow, I've just been informed that i must write an account of the events that occured over the weekend. So I will. It will take me a while, but I will. Bear with me!
Hmmm, lets see, I no doubt will forget a lot of the events and leave a lot of good shit out, but what can ya do? Thats what i get for being lazy and not writing about things right after they happen.

Friday;

We were torn as whether to go to my friend Tara's party or to go to Blanchard and drink with Jen's people. So we decided to do both! We showed up at jen's and went to get our alchohal. Then we all went back and drank a little bit, I only had a small amount since I was saving myself for Sat night. So once we wer all feeling good we set out for Taras. I had so much fun at Taras. Alot of my friends were there. I sat and chatted with Casey and Mitchell and Mike and everyone else I know and love. As I started getting comfortable I was informed we were leaving :( I was upset because I wanted to stay! I had to go though, cause they were my drive home and all my stuff was at Jen's.
So we got back to Jen's and sat around with a bunch of boring university people who I didn't know. Not fun. So Jodi and I decided we would walk to Burger King. We ended up getting pizza delight instead. So around 1 we arrive back at the res. We head up to the room we were in and the party was dead, so we went home. Kind of a boring night.

Saturday;

I wake up and am told that Nicole has called. So I call her back and we decide we are going to go on a hunt for a kitten. She picks me up and we head out. I sit in the back and flip through the buy sell and trade. We come up with the brilliant idea that we were gonna go on a roadtrip to summerside!! So I call up the ad in the paper and some summerside hick answers. HAHAHa this guy was priceless. He definately needs someone to talk to. Because i couldn't get a word in edgewise!! Nicole and Rachel were in the front laughing their asses off because i have the phone turned up so they can hear the guy. They were laughing so hard that i soon couldn't resist, and we all burst out laughing. The poor guy. Anyways, we get to this guys house, (after getting slightly lost in Summerside) and are met by a little girl holding a kitten out to us. We were told there were two kittens. Nicole, feeling pity for the man, who we were sure there was something wrong with, Takes the kitten, whitch she doesn't want!! so we get in the car and start asking each other what we're gonna do with this kitten. This cat was definately sick, it was sneezing every few minutes. And its eye didn't look that good. I set it down on the seat and it went right to sleep. Nicole decides she wants a differant cat so we call up some numbers in Kensington. It was on the way, what the hell? So we call this nuber up and this old lady answers. This lady was senile!! and i mean SENILE With a capital S!! hahaha, so we get directions to her house in Freetown. We spent 3 hours looking for this ladies house!!! We stopped at this house with roosters all over the palce!! it was crazy. We were so lost. We entered this place that looked like a ghosttown. Then Nicole tells us she thinks the tire is gonna fall off. So we start freaking out, thinking we were gonna be stuck in ghost town!! anyways, long story short, we FINALLY find the place, turns out the cats ar like all metally retarded, weird as hell. So we end up in Kensington. Eat at the Frosty Treat!! good food, i must say!! yum, expensive though. We got a picture taken with Murph the name of the cat that has been with us though it all!) in front of Frosty Treat. Then we rush back to Charlottetwon cause Nicole wants to get her camera b4 futureshop closes. We stop at Jen's place, I took Murph in, we were getting quite attached to him by now, having been with him all day. Murph came everywhere with me on Sat, everywhere i went he did too. So after murph took a romp around Jen's place and made friends with her hall mates, we all left for Futureshop. Hahaha, and Murph peed in nicole's car!!! haha, so we got to Futureshop and I insisted on taking Murph in with me. he was a hit!! everyone loved him! Everyone, including thewowrkers, well, mostly the workeres, came to pet him. We waited like an hour for nicoles camera, watched some lord of the rings while we were there. And it ended up they lost Nicoles camera so she got a new one!! While i was there i learned quite a devastaing fact. My friend Jeremy is getting married! I will discuss this more in a future blog, Since it doesn't really fit in with this one. So we leave future shop and Nicole tells us she doesn't want Murph anymore, and is gonna dump him at some barn. So does anyone want a kitten?? I will love you forever if you take him, I love Murphy so much, I don't want im to be a barn cat!!!
Anyways, enough about Murph. The party that ngiht was ok, Jen adn the older people ditched the rest of us for the bars. So we just kinda hung out at her place for the rest of the night until I got a ride home with my good friend Mark Drisc. YEah, so thats the end of Sat.

Sunday;

I went to visit my cousin that pretty much my entire family on my mothers side has outcast. Pissed my mom off, and began the total destruction of my family. My mom informed me this morning that she is moving out into her own apartment. Dad will have to sell the house, becasue he doesn't make enough to pay the bills. And he will probly have to get an apartment, since he won't be able to afford anything else, which means i will have to give up my dog, and pretty much means my life is over. But what does that matter. Right? my life is over all the time, so what does this one little instance mean in the giant scheme of things. Oh well, we'll see what happens i guess.
I'm out.

2002-09-14T19:15:00.000-07:00

I'm at a party and it sucks!!!! There are like 10 girls here and no guys. BOOOOOOO!!!!!!! We need some guys!!!!

2002-09-11T16:09:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah baby!!!! Cheack out my comment section!!!

I know I'm good.... ;)

2002-09-11T08:24:00.000-07:00

well, well, well. It is Sept 11 again. I don't understand what the big thing is about anniveraries. Big deal, its been a year since the tragety. I could celebrate tommorow and say, yay! Its been a year and day!!!! Really though, I just don't get it. A year ago today my mom picked me up from university and told me a plane had crashed into the world trade center. I'm sorry, but I didn't know what the world trade center was! You can't blame me though, I shouldn't be expected to know what a stupid building in the Us is, when 98% of Americans don't even know the province I live in!! Oh well, enough about the stupid americans.

I went to the beach yesterday, it was amazing. Funny how the only time I went to the beach and actually got in the water this summer was in Sept, when the summer is pretty much over. Mike and Jamie came with Jodi and I, they ended up finding a canoe and rowing back to Charlottetwon in it! I can't do the story any justice, Go to potroast.blogspot.com, Jamie tells it a lot better.

I've decided I'm going to stop waiting for fun to come to me and start making my own. I think I will plan a road trip to Halifax, or Moncton in the very near future. I welcome anyone who would like to come, (and by "would like to come" I mean HAS THE MEANS TO COME $$$) haha. I love road trips.

Friday the 13th !!!!!! crazy folks, just crazy!!! I am expecting lots of crazy things to happen on Friday. I am Very excited about this. I love Friday the 13th's!!!! My friend Tara is having a party, I invite you all to attend!

I think it is time for me to have another "rachel's house" party. They always seem to be sucessful, even when I'm in the bathroom all night, or passed out in my bed. yes, yes, i think i shall plan one.

Anyways, I'm bored out of my mind with this post, so I'll be taking my leave now.
Later y'all!

2002-09-07T08:15:00.000-07:00

Life.................... is not fair.

Why must I always come so close to getting the things I want, only to have them torn away? What have I done, in a past life, or in this one to deserve the shit I put up with?
A long time ago I knew a guy, brother of my cousins finance. I haven't seen him in a while, but we met again at a thing on Wed. I seen him again on Thurs and he seemed really cool. So I called him up last night and asked him if he wanted to come party with me. He came. I somehow wish he hadn't. For reasons too complictaed and time consumeing to state here i got somehow mad at him last night, needless to say, i was in a bad mood already, having my two bestt friends ditch me, Anyways, I was mad. He was asking me what was wrong and we got talking about us, and our feelings and all that shit. To make a long story short, I told im what I felt about him and he said he cares about me but is not up for a relationship. I was fine with that, then.
Lets just say, I had the best night of my life last night. I have never in my life had so much fun with a guy, ever. We didn't even do most of the things you would expect a drunk guy and girl to do. He was an awesome cuddler, and so aggresive and he kissed my feet !!!!! I can't believe he did. We played around all night, play fighting, and tickling, and stealing the blankets from each other. I swear to God, I almost fell in love with this guy last night. But now, I'm all by myself again. It hurts to the very core of my being to know that he probobly will never call me.
So, thats why life is not fair. I've met the perfect guy, I mean perfect, I love everything about him, the way he touched me, the way he kissed me, the way he pulled me over closer to him when I got too far away. God Damn it, its not fair.

2002-09-01T08:58:00.000-07:00

Shit, what a retarded idiot I am.
As those of you who read my posts already know, tonight will be the night of my party. I was quite comfortble about the fact that I have $10 for my six pack of beer for the night, until I talked to my mom. She casually asked me what my plans for the evening were and I calmly told her that I was having a party tonight. She then asked me if I had my beer, and I told her No, but i had ten bucks. She looked at me and said; Rachel, its Sunday, the liquer store is closed.
Well, shit!!!!!!!!!! God Damn the liquor commission, laws, human rights, religion and everything else that keeps the precious liquer store closed on Sundays!!!!! Its not fair!
Leaving both Jodi and I and possibly Jen without alchohal for the night, I guess I will give in and admit that we will need to take a visit to slick tonight. God Damn it all to hell!!!! That'll teach me.
anyways, should be a good night
I'm off to help Jen move into her new place, and possibly convince her and Jodi to come to the lunch buffet at Pizza Hut!!! yummmmmmmmmmmmm.................

See ya all tongiht.

2002-08-30T16:29:00.000-07:00

Dirty little bitch!!! hahahahahahahahaha, as I have been counting down the days until Jodi arrives home, she and my family have been plotting against me!!! I came home from work yesterday and nearly had a heart attack when i seen Jodi walk by my patio window, I am told I let out quite a squeal and I was on top of her before she even got in the door!!!!! Lets just say I didn't make it to Taekwondo last night!!!
Man, what a surprise that was, mean, very mean, but I love having her home earlier!!!!!

So I'm now out of a job. Wow, unemployed again, I'm sdrry but I've got to say, it feels damn good. (*sigh of pleasure) yep, Damn good........

didn't go to the stagette party tongiht, because i feel like shit, I'm running a temp and i think I have the flu AGAIN!!!!! grr, why must I always be sick, I guess its my eating habits.
I'm conflicted too whether we should go camping tommorow night or if we should go to the Drive in, I'm not sure, I guess we'll have to see.
Anyways, I'm gonna go now, I think I'll hit the sack.

2002-08-28T16:00:00.000-07:00

haha, i know its kinda late to write about the weekend, but what can i say? I neeed to be in a writting mood.
Camping on Fri was hilarious, we planned on going to Blooming point and having a totally girl night, but we ended up going to Tracadie. I need to shorten my story up a little since it happened almost a week ago, so I'm gonna try. We almost got in fights with two differant people,we saw some good fireworks, I didn't end up even sleepinbg in the tent, i slept in the car. I met up with my old friend Tyler and we reminiced all night of times gone by and our memories from Jr high. Nicole's cousin Pricilla got her foot ran over by a car and the two of them spent half the night in the emergancy room!! And man, I've gotta say! talk about a hell of a woman, this girl Pricilla! Shes like half my size and she set up the tent all by hersefl, but thats not the amazing part, after getting her foot ran over by a car, she came back from the Er and took it down all by herself!!! hahahaha, man, we are such lazy asses.
Sat night was a f*ucking bomb. Ended up picking up Nic and Tyler and we had to go pick up Nic's new little "squeeze" (i guess?) (*and I'll insert a big OUCH here) and it ruined my night, I mean honestly, how inconciderate, i invite them to a party, get them a drive, then he picks up a girl!!! I mean couldn't he thought of me at all? that hurt like hell!!! long story, not getting into it now.
Anyways. went to a party, it sucked, we were snubbed, so we cam home.
I went to my dads staff party on Sun, wasn't too bad.
James got back some time, i don't know when, haven't seen him since, wonder how his weekend went.?
Hmmmm, what else?? I have a surprise for you all but i can't tell ya, cause then it won't be a surprose, you'll just have to wait and see!!!!
Jodi and Jen are coming home!!!!!! yay!!!!!
This weekend is gonna be the businest one in a long while!!! I've got a stagette party on Fri night, Jodi comes home on sat, camping or something of that sort on sat night, Jen is home on Sun, I'm helping her move in to her new place, then party at my place on Sun night! then Shinerama on Mon!!!!! yikes, I'm gonna be tired.

just in case you didn't catch it, PARTY AT MY PLACE ON SUN NIGHT!!!!!!!! everyones gotta come. Call 892-0785 for more info, or 628-9585. K, I gots to go, but I'll catch yas all lata!!!

ps, come to my party!!!!!

2002-08-23T15:12:00.000-07:00

Going camping tonight, gonna freeze our asses off, but we're camping anyways!! gotta live up those last few weeks of summer.

Ok people, heres the gameplan. Everyone keep next sat and sun nights free. Jodi comes home on the 31st and we're all going camping, big camping trip! then Jen is home on Sun, the 1st of Sept, and that night there is a big party at the Kelly residence!!! eveyone mark their calanders!!!! (*sigh of pleasure) Everything is gonna be so great! Jen is taking me home an ID from NS so I will be turning 19 on Sept 1, *Cough cough!!!! haha, good times, good times!!

Sooo... hmmmmmmm, don't know what else to say. University starts soon!! Gonna pick me up some fine University ass!!! I swear it, this is my year, i know it!

Wow, i found the best song, I love you Brandy!! its called "This is for my people" by Missy Elliot, best song people, best song!

Well, I have another treat for ya!!

Cosomo Commandments;

10 things NOT to do Wehn you meet Their parents;
1. Attempt to gain a psychological advatage when shaking hands with thier father by squeezing until the small bones "give". This goes double for thier mother.
2. Use any lulls in the conversation as an opportunnity to put on your walkman.
3. Say "I've heard all about your family, and I want you to know you needn't be embarrassed in front of me, Trust me, my clan's toxic with a capital T"
4. Use the fact that their father is warming up to you faster than their mother is to turn them against each other, creating a rift in their marriage that even time may not heal.
5. Slip knickknacks, lose change, and extra dinner rolls into your purse--no matter how broke you are--even if you're positive no ones looking.
6. Prove how cozy you are with thier son/daughter by using your private nickname for him/her at all times (e.g. "pookie and I love spending time together outdoors" or "well, you knoiw our Huggy bear struggles with those big decisions.")
7. Make asides to your boy/girl in Spanish, French, Mandrin, or any foreign tongue that they understand but their parents do not.
8. Say "So you're the ones he gets it from!"
9. Nuzzle, Kiss, and grope your boy/girl. The same applies to their Mother and Father.
10. Try to get in their good graces by saying "Wow, you're so much closer than Bad's, David's, Sean's, Sung-hee's, Troy's, Arthur's, Gary's, Jamal's, Ali's, and Alexander's parents-- put together!"

Yeah I know, gotta love that Cosmo!

2002-08-17T19:09:00.000-07:00

MY JODI IS COMING HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she really is! finally!!! I don't think I've ever been more happy!!!

partied in the good 'ol town of Souris last night, It was my friend brandy's birthday, big 19!!!!I am extremely jealous, I hate being so young. Curse my late birth. Went to a wedding tonihgt, A girl I work with, it was so beautiful! I can't wait to get married!! So now, i don't know what I'll do for the rest of the night. Maybe go out with James, if they have the time to drop by before they go, if not, maybe to "the house"? We'll see. I can't believe James asked me to go out with them though. I nearly shit my pants, it made me feel so good, like maybe we'll be friends again.
I'm in such a better mood lately. I don't know why, maybe because school is almost here and Jen and Jodi will be home. I guess i just needed a change.
I got home from Souris with Karen in her jeep, man it rocked, i definately need a jeep. They are so cool.
anyways, I've got nothing else to say

2002-08-15T18:13:00.000-07:00

I wish I had a guy friend that I could cuddle with and flirt with but have no attraction between us, like no risk of getting involved. No sexual tension. I think thats what i really need right now. A guy i KNOW will not try to make a move on me, but will care about me and give me lots of cuddles. That would be sooooo nice. Way better than a boyfriend, Oh well, I guess I can dream...........

2002-08-15T14:04:00.000-07:00

Ouch, I just fell down the stairs. It hurt like a mother f*ucker. I think I broke my leg. Ouch again. Splilt a whole glass of 7up too, shit.

3 day weekend, yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2002-08-14T16:30:00.000-07:00

Jodi, I apologize for my previous posts in which i was extremely depressed and annoyed and angry , etc, etc.... I love you and always will(In a total non-lesbian sort of way!)

ahhhhhhh, now that that is off my chest, whats everyone doing this weekend? Tracadie party on Friday yo!!! everyone better be there, cause i will be and I'll be damn drunk!!!and I'll probly be looking for a fella too, but if you get any ideas, make sure you're hot!!!! hah
So, I'm getting quite excited that Sept is coming soon. fun times people fun times!!!!!! parties, concerts, pubs, all i have to say is yum yum. On sept 5th at the new student center at UPEI david usher and the mudmen are playing!!!!!! its gonna rock!
I have a wedding to go to on Sat and no date to come with me. (*pout)
And i have a wedding on Sept 7th too.
Man, i need a boyfriend, its been too long, way way too long.

I have a question; Why can you never have the one you want, but can get anyone else?? I'm serious. I never attract anyone i like, but always attract guys i don't. Its not fair.

And a special treat for all you girls tonight, just for fun

10 ways to boot out a One-Night Stand in the Am;
1. Tell him "i'm really looking forward to waking up every day for the next 50 yearsand seeing your face right next to mine."
2. Start doing step arobics while watching Friday the 13th, part 3.
3. Close your eyes, clasp your hands, and say "Oh, How I thank Ye, Lord, For delivering thy fine servent who sleepith next to me into my loins last night."
4. get on the phone and pretend to look for justices of the peace in your area. If he looks at you quizzically, cover the mouthpeice and whisper "Wouldn't it be a hoot if we eloped?"
5. Exclaim "Man! I had this horrible dream last night that your penis was a lot smaller than ?I had hoped... Oh, wait. Sorry"
6. Bolt ouyt of bed and say "Well, I need to shop for yeast-infection medication before I go to wrok... you're welcome to join me if you want."
7. Sit cross leged yoga style, with your eyes closed, and chant "Shnati, Shanti oooommmmmmm"repeatedly until he leaves.
8. Look at him fondly but sternly and say, "Okay, mister,I think its about time I laid down some rules for this relationship."
9. Start speaking only in pig latin.
10. Pull out your calendar and say "You're just going to LOVE my husband. Lets pick a date when hes back in town and we can all have a nice dinner."

Well, there you go folks, straight out of the pages of Cosmo magazine!!!

thats all for now
later

2002-08-10T11:32:00.000-07:00

Hey y'all! How’s life treating everyone?

I've made a huge discovery just this moment. I think I'm a manic depressive. I am so low sometimes and so happy at others. Right now I feel great. Tara and I hung out last night and the night before we went to the exhibition!!!! Fun times, i love the exhibition. We had so much fun, it was just like old times. We were both so hyper and crazy! Its cool to be with someone you can be yourself around, like totally yourself, I mean we were insane!!! Jesus it was fun. Our favorite ride of the night was the TIlt-a-Whirl!! We decided we were going to set a record of how many times we could go on it in a row, so when our first ride was over we asked the guy if we could stay on and he said No!!! there was no one in the line and he made us walk all the fucking way around again, oh well. We made it to six times and then we started feeling sick, but i mean, six times in a row is not bad. You try it! then we thought it would be cool to get a ride on the merry go round but we were too tall. We went on some rides, made asses out of ourselves, seen some cows. Overall, a great night!
What shall i do tonight?? exhibition again maybe?? We'll see, I'll be happy just staying home though, with a movie, Resident Evil is out and I want to see it again. good flick. Wait!! maybe Lord of the Rings!!!! hmmmmmm, or maybe both, i may splurge. There’s a rave tonight, but i don't think I'll go, i learned last weekend that it is no fun without a fella on your arm. Steven was supposed to call but he hasn't, surprise surprise. I didn't expect him too. man, guys really suck.
Member the guy i loved?? well, last weekend I pretty much threw myself at his feet and he pretty much spit in my face. Figuratively speaking. It hurt like hell, but one must go on, right? Other fish in the sea and all that.
I can't wait until Sept!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My Jen is coming home and I'll be going to class with PEOPLE MY OWN AGE!!!! Imagine!!! I will get to meet new people my own age again and by "people" i mean guys!). It'll be a nice break from 2 year olds.And Jen!! yay!!, how miss her, Once she gets back here everything will be right in the world again. :)
does anyone know a 19 or 20 year old with brown hair that i could get an ID from, I'm really quite sick of not going to the bars, and I've decided that i will attempt to get an ID and go.
hmmmmm, what else??
I've noticed that my Blogspot really sucks. After looking at some other peoples, I'm quite disapointed with mine. I need a comment section!!!!!!! i really really do. And links to people pages.
Anyways I'm bored, so I'll catch yas all later.

2002-08-03T15:12:00.000-07:00

People, I am extremely bored.

Last night I was reunited with my old friend Tara. It was awesome, I didn't know how much I missed her. My future doesn't look so bleak. I have a friend again, I mean a real friend, one who cares about me. I was at her place. They were all drunk, I was not. It was still fun though, hilarious in fact, my God funny drunk people kick ass. I called my friend Andrew and he came over too. He walked me home at like 3 in the morning and man was it a long walk!!! I was so tired at the end of it, it was like I was drunk, I was staggering. He just laughed at me.
I am getting quite pissed at my "friend" James who is living with me. It surprises me that someone with so many friends doesn't know how to be a friend himself. All i have done for this boy is bent over backwards, I have given him everything I have, I have been a friend in the utmost sense. For Godsakes, I even gave him my home! and share my family with him! And what does he do for me in return?? F*uck all. He can't even be civil to me. Not one bit. He won't talk to me, he will barely even acknowlage my existance. Tell me what I should do?? I can't kick him out, as much as I'd like to, as much as i hate him sometimes, I just can't, I don't have the heart. He has nowhere else to go. What do I do??? My parents are even starting to take his side over mine, they tell me I'm not nice to anyone anymore and nobody is going to like hanging out with me anymore. Heres the scoop, James is acting like an asshole, and when someone treats you like shit, its kinda hard to act like sugar. Honestly I've tried so hard. Oh well, I guess thats what you get for trying to help someone who doesn't want to be helped.
I'm still pissed off at Jodi. I can't beleive she would abandon all her friends and family for a f*ucking life thats going nowhere. and that is exactly where its going. Where are you working Jodi?? MacDonalds? Where is that going to get you? Yeah the place is nice, but where is it f*ucking getting you? where are you going to be in five or ten years? Still there, at Macdonalds? What kind of man will want you then, a 28 year old girl working at MacDonalds with no education and nowhere else to go.
Anyways, I guess you just can't change some poeples minds.
I need something to do tonight. Anyone have any suggestions??
By the way,I'm still looking for a friggin comment section! Please help me! where will i get one!?
I'm now fully engrossed in Tae Kwon Do. It is so fun, I go to class and I don't want to leave. It gives me such a release. In my class on thursday we learned all sorts of ways to defend ourselves if we ever get attacked and we learned the only inescapeable hold. It can kill someone in 7 seconds. Its quite terrifying and I wish he hadn't taught us it. Its scary knowing I can have that sort of power.
Anyways, thats all I can think of to write about right now. I'll catch yas all later.

2002-07-31T18:26:00.000-07:00

Yes!!!! Success!!!! My blogspot is finally posting! It hasn't been in a while! All this time I have been posting and they have just not been coming through. (*sigh of relief)

So, what else is new in life..... I am sinking deeper and deeper into the abyss of despair, depression and loneliness. Its hard to stay afloat when you have no one who loves you to hold onto. Sure, its a slight better than it was, I have things to do, almost places to go, but they are so empty. The people who ask me to go anywhere with them are just people who know me, not people who give a damn.
To add to the shittyness of my life the guy I love has rejected me, I deserve it though, I put him through so much shit through the years, Its hard to imagine he’s even talking to me. I'm so stupid, I thought the most painful thing in the world was to be rejected by someone you liked, I've learned the hard way it hurts a hell of a lot more to be rejected by the person you love.
Anyways, enough of this useless whining and bitching and crying.
I found something out today at work. I always knew girls were extremely mean to each other, very exclusive and they pick at each other a lot. but I always thought It was mostly teenage girls. I thought "girls have been raised to be like this, pop culture has done this." I was wrong. Girls are born to be like this, I don't know why, but it is so. The little girls at my daycare have proven this to me today. Little boys play and fight and hit each other but they will never exclude one of their one kind. As I watched the little girls today It has dawned on me that if there are a group of any number there is ALWAYS one left out, always one that is picked on. And it changes every day. The one that gets left out the day before is the one that will be laughing and making faces at the one that gets left out today. I can't explain it, I don't understand it, but it is so. Man girls suck.
I am sorry. Jo if you are reading this right now, I'm sorry, I'm a little angry right now, and down, and hurt. I really hate you. I hate Jodi Smith. I am so angry right now. And I know I'm being totally unfair and childish but I feel like being that way right now. This is my place to vent and so I shall. I am so pissed off. Make up your Goddsamn mind. Either f*ucking stay or don't. I don't even care anymore. I am so sick of having my emotions go up and down according to if you're coming home or not. Stay there for all I care. F*ucking stay. Have a good life. Have a f*ucking fantastic life. (I will regret this ranting tomorrow, no doubt)
I was just with Justin Drake, he took me for a ride in his fixed up Camaro, its wicked, what a cool car, its gonna be nice. Loud, and smelly but according to my dad, "a beautiful car"
Anyways, I'm bored and tired and f*ucking pissed off, so I'm going to bed now

2002-07-31T17:21:00.000-07:00

working now???

2002-07-26T15:49:00.000-07:00

yep, still not working......

2002-07-24T17:38:00.000-07:00

Hmmmm, Blogger is pissing me off. I haven't been able to post in a long time. I'm gonna check and see if this works.??

2002-07-23T15:26:00.000-07:00

Hello all!
sorry i havn't written in a while. I went camping on the weekend. It was ok, we went to some Cymbria campground. don't ever go there, it sucks, it really does. Thats ok though, because we trashed it good, and the suckers even gave us our deposit back, hehehe.
Jo is coming home soon. I can't wait, I'm counting down the days.
I met a guy on hotornot.com. Hes 24, his name is ben, he lives downdown and he waorks at tech support. I think its pretty pathetic the way he was trying to pick me up on MSN. Cute, but pathetic.
I wanna go camping this weekend again. Somewhere in the woods or something, not at a stingy ass camp ground though.
My first Tae Kwon Do class is tonight, I'm very excited. I'm gonna kick some ass

2002-07-12T15:22:00.000-07:00

man I'm bored....... I need to get drunk, I haven't been in a while. Maybe if i get drunk I'll also get tail? haha, who knows.

i guess Jodi has disowned me for greener pastures. She hasn't written me in forever, or called me either, i guess shes just having too much fun over there.
Work was as it usually is, long, hard, tiring. I need something to do tonight. If anyone knows of anything, let me know? ASAP.
OMG, this blog sucks, I'm not going to torture you with this any longer, I will wrtite sometime when i have something to say.

2002-07-08T15:44:00.000-07:00

I need a man. I'm serious, i really do. I'm not one of those girls who think they need a guy to be important or anything. I just think its time for me to get one. I mean a girl can only get so horny, right? Oops, did i say horny?? I mean...... haha, girls aren't supposed to talk like that, I apologize for my unfeminine manner.
Not only do I need tail, but Ii need someone to cuddle with, someone to care about. Hmmm, where would a girl start looking? Its not fair, when i have a guy its like other guys can't get enough of me, but when i have no one? Grrr, it must be the always want what you can't have kinda deal. Oh well.

The weekend could've been better. Fri night was great. We partied at Ambers with lots of cool people. The walked. A lot. Brandy and i almost gott molested by some drunk on the street but we were picked up by her mom just in the nic of time. Then sat night I was totally blown off by my "friends" and i must insert a huge "OUCH" here. The only thing worse than having no friends is thnking you do, then finding out you really dont'. trust me on this.

My "F"ing computer is broken again. For the millionth time, you ask, yes, yes i think it is the millionth time. Let it be known, and i will place this in capital letters because it is very impoartant you all hear this = FUTURESHOP WILL RIP YOU OFF BIG TIME! DO NOT SHOP THERE, I REPEAT DO NOT. THEY WILL SCREW YOU OVER SO BAD. THEY SELL YOU FAULTY EQUIPMENT AND THEN TRY TO BLAME IT ON YOU!!!! or a goddamn software problem?? HONESTLY!!! A SOFTWARE PROBLEM?????? CAN YOU HAVE LIKE 5 SOFTWARE PROBLEMS IN LESS THAN A YEAR?? THE LAST TIME MY COMPUTER WAS IN THE SHOP, I TOOK IT THERE AND TOLD THEM IT HAD CRASHED AND THAT THE DAMN MACHINE WOULDN'T EVEN TURN ON. YOU KNOW WHAT THEY ASKED ME???? "ARE YOU SURE?" OF COURSE i'M SURE!!!!!!!! WHEN YOU PRESS THE BUTTEN ON THE FRONT WHAT ELSE IS IT SUPPOSED TO DO, SING ME A LITTLE DITTY? HONESTLY.THEN THEY TRYED TO TELL ME A WHOLE LOAD OF BULLSHIT. a couple of days later I called them back and asked whrer my computer was. They told me they had to order a new harddrive. Wel duh. even with its new hard drive my computer is still fucking up!!!!! (*sob) will this horror never end?? :( I mean when I bought the damn thing in Sept, it was top of the line, I paid 5000$ for it!!! The shitty ass lap top i had before it worked ten million times better!
Anyways, the point of the story is, DO NOT BUY ANYTHING AT FUTURESHOP!!!! THEY ARE THE DEVIL!!!!!! no matter how cheap you can get something htere, you will end up paying for it dearly.

I think I will become a serious huge tomboy for the summer. I will wear baggy guyish clothes and hang out with no one but guys. I think it would be fun to be like a guy for the summer. I'll be like, just one of the guys. But i guess i need to find some guys first. Any takers?

2002-07-02T18:37:00.000-07:00

Last night was the shittyest night I have had in a long while. It started off ok, Woke up, la dee da, all that jazz. Steven came to pick me and the boys up, everything was going good. If you saw a black Lexus with a huge canada flag hanging out the top, that was us! We got so many smiles and shouts and people beeping thier horns at us, it was great! I had taken my flag off my wall and wanted to wear it around but the guys wanted to hang it out the window and all sorts of shit. I was like ,"fine but you lose it and your ass is grass" kinda thing. Later on, it graduated from simply hanging out the window to being put on the back of the car, the guys closed the trunk door on it to hold it in place. I was getting a little iffy on this because my mom had gotten me the flag and i wanted it back at my place in one piece. I gave in and the guys got it on the back. On our way back up the Ave, we look around and my flag is gone! I was pissed. Then Steven was like no wait i see it. So we stopped and put it back in the trunk. When it started looking like it wasn't gonna stay the guys decided to take it in and hang it out the sun roof. This I didn't like, the way they had it out wasn't gonna keep it there so i wanted to hold on to the string to keep it on the car. Lets just say the guys were real assholes about it and there is the start of my bad night.
So i call up my friend Brandy and ask her what shes doing and shes down at peaks, so i decide i may go hang out with her later on in the night and tell her I'll call her back.
The guys ignored me the entire time i was with them. I mean like, making me walk behind them, and stand outside the "circle" when everyone is talking. I'm talking Ignored - with a capital I. I'm sorry, but my pet peeve is when people I'm with don't even associate with me when I'm with them. I felt like such a tag along, like no ne even wanted me with them.
So I was like fu*k that, called Brandy up and walked off to go hang out with them. The guys didn't even miss me, didn't even know i was gone. When i got with Brandy and Karen and them the night got slightly better, for a time. I seen a guy I haven't seen in a while, Dave, so that was a cool highlight of the night. We walked around, watched some fireworks, and then it was time for Rachel to go home. We were all kinda sitting around and I, not knowing how else i would get home, called my mother up and asked her to come get me. Trying to avoid at least a little of the traffic in town, and thinking because Karen and Brandy and them would be walking by it, that Breakers would be a prime spot for her to come get me. So we sat and sat nad then sat there for a little more(at Peakes Not at Breakers) I got a little worried and asked if we could start walking to breakers so my mom wouldn't be waiting there for too long. Well, that was just too much to ask. They simply COULDN'T tear themselves away from that precious piece of earth we were sitting on. So after 15 minutes I got up and sstated quite loudly and snottily that "I guess I'll go by myself then, for Godsakes"So I Walked up to breakers by my fu*king self, could've gotten raped or God knows what, with tears in my eyes. When I got in the car with my mom i had a total breakdown. I started crying full force about how much I missed Jodi and I have no fiends now, well none that give a shit about me anyways. My mom consoled me, told me not to do that to myself and said that Jodi would be home soon. I got home, the guys weren't back yet, Got ready, and went to bed, crying of course.
Got up this morning and went to work. I am now a full timer. I work the close shift, which makes me a little nervous, since I'm there with a small amount of kids at the daycare for a half hour by myself. I'm always scared something will happen and I'll not know how to handle it.
Took my sister to the movies tonight. We went to see Mr Deeds. Damn good movie I must say. Hilarious, i love Adam Sandler.

I hate to sound repetitive but I swear to God that i must be the most depressed person ont his island. What the hell is the point of my life? I don't see any. everything seems so futile, so damn pointless. At least before it seemed to have a tiny bit of a point, when i had fun sometimes. But now?? What have i got now? absolutely nothing. I've got no friends, no life, nothing to do but work, and what is the point of working? To get money,, right, but what do i need money for? I ahve nowheres to go, nothing to do, I could buy clothes but i have no place to wear them to. I want to just live in my bed, and never get out, ever.
Man I need some friends, I need someone to love me, to care about me, to give a shit where I am or what I'm doing. Life sucks, it really really does.
I'm going to bed, at least when I'm asleep, life isn't so dismal.

2002-07-01T11:03:00.000-07:00

Wow, haven't been on here in a while.
I just got back from Halifax on Fri. Went to prom with my friend james. Why is their prom so much better than ours? It was at the Sheridan ( I have no idea how to spell it)casino. It was so nice and classy. They had a dinner and a Dj and it was so fun. then there was safe grad. kareoke and a fake casino. Then at like 5 in the morning we went out on a ferry and watched the sunrise. Why are PEI schools so cheap?
James got kicked out of his house and is now staying with me. I feel bad for James though, it must be really hard on him. It'll be really cool thoughl. It'll be like having a roomate.
Fun times.
Whats everyone doing for Canada day? It really sucks that i have to work tommorow, It means I can't have any real fun tonight. Shitty eh?
My Jodi is gone and it is killing me. It really is. When you spend so much time with someone, like jodi and I did then it is extremely painful when they are gone. Jodi and I did everything together. Everything I did she did and vice versa. I miss her so much. Jodi, if you are reading this, COME HOME! just come home damn you! But its cool that James is here, now I'm not utterly alone.
Work, work, work, thats all i see for my summer. such a bleak existance. I wrote up my July calendar last night. Empty, very empty. June was so chalk full of social event goodness that july seems very depressing. Anyone that has some events to put on my july calendar write me up so I can fill it in and won't be depressed anymore. On July 7th it will be half a year since my birthday so I've decided that I am going to celebrate it with a half birthday party. Anyone who wants to come is welcome. Its also Stephanes birthday! so we will celebrate that as well. Stephane is a friend of James who came over for a little visit to the good 'ol island.
I wonder what kind of night tonight will be. I'm hoping it will be a good time.
I wanna go camping, I need a tent. Anyone who wants to go camping, give me a call. If you don't have my number, then just write me an email. Anyways, I'm gonna go now, I've got nothing else of interest to say.

I wish Jodi would call.

2002-06-22T10:53:00.000-07:00

I don't know what kind of post this is gonna be. I'm really tired and half hung over.

Lets see
My Jodi graduated last night. She was so cute and I was so proud of her. It was a really long ceremony and Nicole made me stand up for most of it. I'm suprised my feet don't hurt.
Went to the Bluefield prom party last night!!!!
Took two hours finding it, but thats beside the point.....
It was good, not as good as last friday night, but good nonetheless.
Man, i'm sorry people, i shouldn't be writing this right now. I'm just too "blah" My creative storytelling juices are not flowing.
I may write a follow up on this later
we'll see

Big party at Tacadie beach tonight!! be there or be square!!

2002-06-17T14:31:00.000-07:00

wow, I've got to apologize again. its just that I have nothing of interest to write of most of the time.
But, since I am writing here now, I shall tell you about my weekend.
Friday was such a busy day. I got up at 12 and went down to St pius rec hall to set up for the kindergarten graduation that was taking place that night. So i got there at the exact time my boss told me to meet her at. After waiting 20 minutes i decide i may call the daycare to see if she’s coming. As I am on my phone calling i see her silver van driving up and give a sigh of regret. I thought i might be able to go home, since she wasn't there. So she drives up and gets out and i help her unload numerous items into the hall. Then we get in there and she tells me how to set up the chairs and gives me some other things to do, Then informs me she must go back to the daycare. This made me quite angry, since i thought she was doing all the setting up and I was there to help, not to do everything.
Let me draw you a picture before i continue.
We entered through a side door into a large hall with stacks and stacks of pink patio chairs lined up along the wall, along with wooden tables. Up on the stage, where the children were going to perform there were still more stacks of white patio chairs, as well as old wooden ones with the metal frame that stack like the plastic ones do.
Anyways, back to my complaining
So she left and i started setting up endless row after row of Goddamn plastic chairs that had to be unstacked, bitching and complaining to myself all the while. when i get about a quarter of the way done i start feeling hungry and decide to call my mom to ask if she'll bring me a burger or something over, but she couldn't cause she was in a meeting or something. So I resume my chair setting up and decide I will stop being so petty. As I finished up the pink chairs, singing all the while (it has great sound in that hall for singing!) i realize there will not be enough. So i march myself up and onto the stage and try to think of how little 'ol me is gonna get the big stacks of white chairs down off the stage. I decide I'm going to drag a pile down the stairs on the side of the stage. Bad idea. Really bad idea. I start dragging them down the stairs when i realize that they are quite heavy and awkward. I pretty much fall backwards with the chairs and kill my shoulders.
At the moment all I could think of was "Shit I better not have bruises on my arms!" because i will be wearing a strapless dress to prom on the 25.
anyways, when i regained my composure i told myself i wouldn't be trying that again. i haul the stack of chairs down to the back of the room, making a shitload of noise, and set them up. Then i turn to the stage again. Finally i work out a plan to get the chairs down. I go up on the stage, tip the chairs over the edge of the stage and pull down one or two chairs at a time. I know, i know, pretty tedious, but what can i say? I must preserve myself for prom!
Anyways, i finished the damn chairs, thinking she better not ask me to help put these away and i better be getting paid for this! I finish up the rest of the things needed to be done then just wander around aimlessly rearranging pointless things until she got back. Hearing her enter the hall brought a sigh of bliss from me, because i thought i would be able to leave and go and get the things i needed done, done. I thought wrong. She gave me numerous other things to do and when i was finally on the point of breaking, she told me i was good to go. About time.
My mom picked me up and we went and got Jodi’s gift and some food. Then we went home and Jodi came to pick me up. (I was going with her to get her hair and make up done for prom) when she got here i was bursting with excitement to give her her present. By the way, I'm giving her a present cause she’s moving to BC and I will probly never see her again (*Sob) :(
I got her a silver locket with a J engraved on the front and a R on the back
I gave it to her and she liked it (I hope!) It made me feel so good to give it to her, I love giving people things!
She also brought presents for me! A little turtle thing(cause I'm obsessed with turtles) and a beautiful picture frame with a picture of her and i in it. I love it! :)
I must say, I am sooo pushy! People, don't let me push you around!! I made Jodi get sparkles in her hair for prom, she didn't want them but i made her. She was thankful for it later though, I told you so Jodi!!!
When we got home form the hair dresser i then got dressed for the kindergarten graduation/ concert. They did so well!! I am so proud of them! they even got me flowers!!!! I love them all so much and I will be so sad when they go to school in Sept!!
after that i came home and took some pictures of Jodi in her finery. She was gorgeous, so very beautiful, I was so jealous, i want to look like that for prom!
We then went down to the walk in and it was crazy!! It was freezing out, last year at prom we were roasting!! and this year they were all out there shivering!! and i seen so many people i haven't seen in such a long time!!! I miss them all so much!

The prom party was wicked!!! Oh man, I'm sorry but I've never had so much fun in my entire life!! We were soooo drunk. The party was held in a field with a big wedding tent in which there was a DJ and lots of people dancing. There wasn't even anyone taking tickets!! weren't we pissed. paid 10$ each and didn't even need a ticket! all the work i had gone to making the other fake tickets too, all gone to waste. Oh well. We got there and were dancing up a drunken storm when the realization that we would have to use the woods as our bathroom for the night dawned on us. So with disgusted sighs we trudged off to the back of the tent and when we turned the corner, Lo and behold!!! portapottys!!!!! we were so elated that i think we jumped up and down, its hard to remember. Then for the rest of the night Jodi told everyone she seen that there are "port-a-f*ckin-pottys here!!!!" haha, that Jodi.
Anyhow, I met up and danced with a few choice fellas, one witch stands out more than the others.... I wish i had gotten his number, Stupid Rachel!!!!! live and learn i guess
Anyways, at the risk of sounding repetitive. WOW that party Rocked!!!!!!
OH man!! I almost forgot the most memorable part of the night!!! i lost my cell phone, i freaked out and cried and looked for it for what seemed like an hour but in real non-drunk time was probly five minutes, then got over it and was like "oh well, won't let it ruin the rest of the night"
haha, i found it in the morning right before we left, funny story actually, but it resulted in me and Jodi jumping up and down in each others arms screaming and carrying on, then we fell over and were lying on the grass for a while. I made a total ass of myself when i mentioned quite loud that i had not gotten tail from___ _______(the particular fella I've mentioned above) quite loudly, not knowing he was, in fact, right behind me. He then called my name and we talked for a few minutes until he got dragged away by his fellow partiers. (*sigh) man, it really sucks i haven't got his #.
Jodi and i spent all Sat lying in my bed complaining about how hung over we were. until around 4 when we decided we would order pizza but couldn't figure out who we could weasel into going to get it for us.
Enter: my sister
We asked Renee to go get it for us and she agreed until mom thwarted that plan by telling us damn drunks to get off our lazy asses and go get it ourselves, telling us she has no sympathy for people with hangovers.
Lets just say we got it delivered.
I went to the Morrell party sat night, It sucked. That’s all i have to say about that.
now I'm really bored, but that took quite a while to write.
I want to do something.
Anyone going to the Bluefield prom party???
think i might hit that on Fri night, if i can find out where it is.
We'll see
Sorry this blog was so long and boring for all you people who don't know me or don't care about what i do.

never mind, I'm not sorry, if you don't like it, don't read it

2002-06-07T13:01:00.000-07:00

sorry folks, I knew i said i won't let this thing fall to the wayside and I won't! I promise. I just haven't had any news in a couple of days.
I just had the most hurtful experiance inflicted upon me, well actually second most hurtful. The two experiances are actually quite alike. The second, the one I'm going through right now, and the reason i look quite horrible becasue of all the crying i have just done, was brought on by my sister. I could go on and rant and rave about how much i hate her right now and how much of a bitch she is, and believe me, i would like to, but its not going to help any, and I'm sure I'm going to hurt just as much when I'm done. Man, i feel like shit, i wish i wasn't alone, i could hold myself together more if i had someone with me......
Ok, I was just talking to her and my Jodi is gonna come over, that'll help
Sorry for you people who don't know what I'm talking about. Its a long long story that is very complicted and i woill probly tell it someday.
By the way, I am having a party tonight if anyone wants to come, its at Brackley beach somewhere I guess. Some other people are having a party and i suppose I'll just join mine on to theirs. so everyones welcome.
until later....

2002-06-04T15:55:00.000-07:00

Well, I worked all day, and what a long day. It was pay day. i made 308 $. 100 is gone already. Jesus things are expensive these days.
Anyways
i guess I'll watch Harry Potter tonight, i already seen the movie in the theatre. Its a good movie but i liked the books better. I suggest everyone read the book first, its better, believe me.
I'm having a party Fri night for everyone who is free, I'm not sure where its gonna be at yet, possibly at a beach??? :) so you will be informed at a later date.
went to the tanning bed, just got back actually. I am burned, but its all for a good cause. Ok, it is so funny how quickly you throw your gripes out. Last year I bitched at everyone who went to a tanning bed. "you're gonna have cancer, you're gonna get it, i swear! don't come funning to me when you do. " and so on... but the minute i needed to be tanned for prom, where did i go? thats right, the tanning bed. and I'm doing it again this year. Its all for the greater cause, the prom!

2002-06-03T12:13:00.000-07:00

Ok, i think I have everything that i want done, done!

2002-06-03T10:39:00.000-07:00

Hmmm, I've hit a little roadblock
Does anyone know how I can change my template?
I've tried, I've gone to switch template. I've picked a template. It says I have a new template. The template does not show up. I still have the old template. Is this not a problem??
(*sigh)
I would also like to have a comment section and all that jazz too, but I have to admit I'm a bit of an HTML dummy. I must say, it's pretty frustrating.
Anyhow, I'll catch all of you who don't know me up on a few things. Because I've gone to some Blogspots not knowing the people and I wish they would write a little bit about themselves on it.
My name is Rachel, and I am an Alcoholic..... No, no, I’m only kidding but didn't it just feel like that was where it was going? Even though i do like alcohol, beer in particular. Anyways.... I am 18 years old I attend UPEI, but as it is the summer I am working full time at Leaps and Bounds Daycare. and i will tell you, because everyone always asks, yes, i do like working there. Yes, it is fun, but man, oh man is it tiring. I have such a long day tomorrow. 8:30 -5:30. Its days like those that you come home from work and you are too tired to even feed yourself. After looking after nine or ten 3 and 4 year olds all day all a person wants to do when they get off work is not act responsibly. I swear. It is making me a way less mature person when I am not at work. When you have to be an adult and make sure children behave all day long, all you want to do when you are free of it is act like a child yourself. I am so crazy immature when I get off work. I'm like "Lets color! or Lets go play something!" haha, oh well, it has its advantages and disadvantages. It is a really great place to work though, the kids are great, the women I work with are great and the hours are great. You honestly can't find a better job, i mean the place closes at 5:30 every day and is closed on weekends.
Anyways, I'm getting off track
I like to party, I drink but I don't smoke (anything). I love to have fun and I would like to say I am an outgoing person. I guess I am when I'm with the right people. I love meeting new people and making new friends. So if anyone visits my page that doesn't know me, which no one will because how will they know about it? drop me a line, I haven't figured out how you will reach me yet, because I don't know how to make a link thing, but I will sooner or later.
I had a party Sat night, it was ok, it could have been better if more people had shown up. I think i may have another one on next Sat because my girl Jen is coming over from Halifax. I think we'll try to have it on a beach somewhere but I don't have everything worked out yet
i don't really have much more to say except I'll probly have more stuff to say a little later on
catch yas later.

2002-06-03T09:17:00.000-07:00

Well, in the words of Salt and Peppa, Here i go:
I've decided to join the craze of The Blog. It seems everyone has, so I have decided to jump on the ban-wagon. I first learned of this treasure called Blog from a fellow by the name of Mike. I enjoyed Mike's blogspot for a short period of time until he started to neglect it :( Boooooo! (yeah Mike, thats for you) I then became a fan of Potroast.blogspot.com, another hilarious read. From there I read others that peaked my interest even more until I decided i must have one. Even though I'm not clever and have less than 1/4 of the adventures these fellas do, I thought I might give it a try. Kinda reminds me of when I was young and always tried to write a journal everyday but i always forgot and never followed through on it, but this will be better, i swear, its not like its one of those little pink vinyl covered little girl diaries with the little lock and key that would open if you simply pull on it.
So there you go folks, inspiration is a marvelous thing.
Anyways, I must go for now, Touched by an Angel is on and I cannot miss it, this is one of the very special days I am actually home to watch it.
I may post again later
maybe
we'll see